Breaking up

Leaving London was not an easy decision.

It was always on my mind because the plan was to stay here for a year before going back to the US. When one year timeline was approaching in July, I thought I would join any team in the US. But it didn’t feel right. I wanted to work on thing I feel excited about. In addition, the summer in London made me forgot the dreadful winter. There was a voice in my mind asking how my life would be if I stay here. But the other me always thought there is no doubt that I’ll go back, it’s just a matter of time. But I didn’t tell anyone about these thoughts.

Maybe this secret voice in my mind was heard by the god, and he was helping me to make a decision. When I called my boyfriend one weekend, he wanted to break up with me to end this long-distance relationship that has been going on for over a year. I was shocked. I never imaged this would happen.

I guess now I can do whatever I want. I can stay in London for longer or forever, or still go back to the Bay Area if that’s what I want. I was even more puzzled because I never imaged I would be in this situation. In my imagination, I would go back to America and reunite with my boyfriend. I even thought about how happy we would be when I finally go back. I imagined that he would pick up in the airport and we would hug and kiss with happy tears.

Well, there’s no more happy tears and only sad tears now.